It’s Like a Love Story..Minus the Love!
In recent weeks, I have to say my boyfriend and I have fought more. I guess it’s mainly because of finacial constraints and boredom, but it has gotten to be more often. Not, necessarily, more serious, just more. We now fight about simple things, like he asked for a toasted bacon sarnie, I didn’t toast the bread; I ask him to feed the cats, he says they want me to do it; or even he wants to cuddle me randomly, but I’m busy or vice versa. It’s silly, little arguments but they just pass the time.
Our (soon-to-be-former) housemates, however, have a different outlook on fights. They yell at each other, scream at each other and even throw things! We’ve had the neighbours threaten them if they don’t shut up, we’ve called the police before because of a fight they started with some big guys on the way home from a bar. They started out with other people but she was beaten every now and again by her ex- and I guess her new guy wanted to save her. Well he did, and I can’t see why. She’s moody, ungreatful, violent and noisy. Yes, she may be a nice person (teaching undergrad), but when drunk, not a nice person. She’ll be fine for the first few drinks but if you say anything she doesn’t like, even if it’s an opinion you’re giving to someone else, she’ll fly off the handle and try and smack you one in the face!
It’s worrying how they’ve said in the past that they want children, and now she’s broody cos all her friends are having or have had babies. (I noticed I wasn’t included there!) She would be great providing she gives up drink and her boyfriend because she can’t have both. I’d gladly stop drinking and go tee-total for my guy if I was any worse than I am now. The last time they argued, doors were slammed, things like keys and books were thrown, and next door gave me a threat to pass on, something like this: if they do it again, I know who they are, I’ll come into your house and kick her face in. This was due to them running round the street in Bradford (heavily Asian populated for those who don’t know, so moral essentially) in their underwear with his brother who was visiting for a weekend. I couldn’t believe it! Then our doorbell starts ringing. Constantly. And the noise is horrible enough, like nails on a chalkboard, but for 5 hours it went on and on! Our guess is they got the wrong house but we didn’t answer, we just stayed in bed praying they’d go away! Anyway, they move out in about a weeks’ time so, it’ll just be the three of us now. Less people but nonetheless, no more arguments.
We argue over so many things, with so many people, in so many ways, we never stop and think how we hurt the others concerned. This annoys me more than the fights themselves because you often demoralise the other person when you argue constantly or shout at someone till the leave home. I was yelled at constantly at home but hardly ever saw my parents argue. It wasn’t until November 2006, when mum announced they might divorce, that I realised my going to university had given my mum no-one but my dad to talk to. She goes out whenever she can, speaks to other family members, but it’s not that often. They spoke of selling up and getting a flat each, somewhere apart. This is why I’m against divorce unless it’s necessary (many reasons), because it seperates a whole family when it’s not really needed. All they need is regualr counselling and couples therapy. Not divorce. He hasn’t beat her to my knowledge, but he has told her he doesn’t love her anymore. How can she stay in that environment, a loveless one where your only child is already free and happy somewhere? I felt horrible for weeks after, feeling that I’d abandoned her butshe pushed me to go to uni, I was happy to stay at college and try again in two yearstime. But no. I wouldn’t have met my boyfriend and I wouldn’t be happy. So, I realised that my mum gave up being happy long ago, so that I could be. And that is the greatest gift a mother could give but it comes with the biggest burden. Making her happy in return.
Written by suziking
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